peanut-pancake

Diaries of a Wristwatch. Prologue. Take a breath, look around, and hear the sounds of the city. The harsh and busy noise pollution from the cars, trucks and public transport, taking all kinds of people to there jobs, to their homes or even to their children. The sound of spoilt children crying over spilt milk. The look of the orchid trees lining the paths, looking closely there is always one that is just that bit taller than the rest, the one striving to be different. The smell of the crisp afternoon air, and the melted ice cream running by your feet, you can almost picture the poor child who for only a second lost something they had tried

I know that feeling that I want but I can't get there….I tried running, but I can never really think when I'm running. I need it to go away. It never does, not really. I'm still confused, but I do all my thinking while I sleep...I have really weird dreams and talk to myself, I plan out conversation and then answer how I think the person would answer. I'm mental...quite literally, I'm driving myself to insanity and it bugs me I need a brain drain, I'm tired and I can't help but be angry about everything today. Today there is no silver lining. It's quite confusing and irritating. Just listening...or reading is helping Sorry to ven

Numb. I'm standing alone, once again you left me here without you. Why do you keep doing this to me, better yet why do I let you? Is this anything like how love should be, because if it is I want no more of it. It's just cruel and unusual punishment. Your touch still lingers on my neck and I can feel the goosebumps running down my chest. Perhaps its just the breeze as the rush of yet another train passes by. alone at a train station, how pathetic, the homeless man seems more alive than I do, with his bright crooked smile, as he plays his guitar busking for money to eat. I wish I could love what I do like he does. I'm not alive without you,

I was the one who would scoff at lovers. "breeders" I would say. It 'used' to disgust me, those happy couples only wanting to display affections in a public place. but now, Now I realize I was jealous, secretly. Jealous of you and of what you have, jealous of your love. I wanted that love, that lust. The complete reassurance that you are doing the right thing, the touch you can only get from your love. When you came into my life, I became my own enemy, and enjoyed every moment. I was a "breeder" I only wanted you, only had eyes for you. I wasn't letting you go, but you still left. Now I'm lost again. Now I hate again. Is it ok t

Heaven only knows Where your gunna be You're always on the run You'll never get to be free Heaven only knows Always on the run Running from the past Running from the truth Run run run Heaven only knows What going on in your mind The fear that's overtaken you The mess you've made Heaven only knows

Fuck. How do I put my life, my journey or whatever the fuck you would call it into words?  Disaster is the first word that comes to mind, accidental the second but the third lucky. I am one of the few "lucky" people who have survived, shit and come out breathing. Of course if you wanted to be like Freddy Prince you could have come out dead, not me I survived and all I have to show for it is a few scars, a foggy memory and a story. A story so irrelevant to people today that part of it can be related to. My life one of major controversy, it took my mother surgery along with other complications for her to have me. The doctors said mag

Today's the day. There is something in the air, It's not love or nostalgia but something pleasant. It must be the butterflies in my stomach, the smile on my face, or the excitement in my body. Stretching in the morning air, Breathing in the new day, Leaping out of bed, Straight into the strange feeling that lingers around me. No need for coffee on this morning, I'm too awake. A dress hangs on my door, a beautiful white dress. A pair of blue earrings, a small garter handed down from my mother A big bow that belonged to my best friend and, A new bottle of perfume for my special day sit on my bedside table. Today is the day.

Rocks on my window, 3 at a time, tap, tap, tap……tap, tap, tap, I can here you but I don't want to open the window, I don't want to see you, my head says "bad idea, don't do this" but my heart says "love", I walk to the window and sure enough there you are so perfect in the moonlight, so irresistible. Your brown shaggy hair and rumpled clothes, your barefoot on my cold grass, my heart had already opened the window to let you in, and I fought with myself to say go away, but I knew I wouldn't all I could do was nothing but a smile. Truth be told I wanted you, right then more than anything I had every wanted, like I only have oxygen wh

scene: all alone on a park bench overlooking the majestic sunset, it fills your heart with love and hope, another day comes to an end another night to begin, your mind and heart are racing as one, you hear the conversation and feel the emotion and see the images of the past happening all over again racing through your mind, lifting your whole body, letting you forget the world for just a moment, allowing you that small piece of sanity, and you let it in with open arms allowing the little joy to fill you up, knowing that at any moment it will be snatched away. Then the sunset is gone, the night begins, the joy has left your heart and you feel