literature

Numb.

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peanut-pancake's avatar
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Literature Text

Numb.

I'm standing alone, once again you left me here without you. Why do you keep doing this to me, better yet why do I let you? Is this anything like how love should be, because if it is I want no more of it. It's just cruel and unusual punishment.

Your touch still lingers on my neck and I can feel the goosebumps running down my chest. Perhaps its just the breeze as the rush of yet another train passes by. alone at a train station, how pathetic, the homeless man seems more alive than I do, with his bright crooked smile, as he plays his guitar busking for money to eat. I wish I could love what I do like he does.

I'm not alive without you, I just float from day to day, work and study is just a distraction to pass time until I get to see you again. Sleep no longer feels important, not as important as being with you. When I pass you in the school yard my heart beats just as hard, you brush me off for your mates but I don't really mind because at night when I see you, you tell me you love me and I get to have you all to myself.

My friends say I'm just another mindles zombie, all my ambitions are gone now, all I really want to do is be with you. It's like my world is ending it's disintigrating right before my eyes and I don't try to fix it. I don't feel responsible anymore, I just feel nothing, but when I'm near you my emotions rise to the surface. It's not bliss I feel when your near, not even love or lust, but the point is that I feel when your near.

I can never let that go, your my emotion, your my air, I feel pathetic for not having my own independence, but only when I'm with you do I actually feel. I know I should be feeling for myself and it sounds ridiculous that I cannot, but before I met you I was numb, now that I've met you I'm not.

Is this my life now, Have I become co-dependant, like a pack of wolves that despirately needs order, my god are you my Alpha Male?
hello out there?
anybody listening, I feel I'm just sending things into a giant void, does anybody care?

Numb, is something I wrote when I came home from school and was feeling absolutely morose, I felt that I couldn't feel when I wasn't with a certain person, Like they breathed for me and when they weren't there I wasn't either.

eventually I came to my senses and realised that I was being absolutely pathetic and needed to harden up.

so TA-DA
© 2010 - 2024 peanut-pancake
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